I don't think there's really an answer to this one...

At my hospital, our computer records system requires that we ask the patient their ethnic category.  This is a point of contention and embarassment for all concerned.  Mostly, it passes without any significant event.  You can make this process run smoothly in two ways.

If  you're a square-peg-jammed-in-a-round-hole of a receptionist, you can circumvent this by putting 'Patient Declined' or making the executive decision that they are White-British ( which is generally a fair assumption).  I think this is naughty for two reasons.

A) it impacts on patient care which is our primary concern - different ethnic groups have differing possibilities of suffering from different conditions and b) its bloody weak of you.  Come on.  I know it's embarrassing and I know people get a shirty look in their eye but it's your job, it's not YOU asking it, it is your clerical persona asking it.

Another way is to just be socially intelligent and ask in a chilled-out way.  I've worked with  another person who just managed to do this really well, I can't quite pinpoint how she did it but I suspect it came from her being alright with the concept of ethnic category in general.  She didn't have any underlying anxiety vibe of 'Oh God the FORRINERS' and she understood and agreed it was for patient care, not because of NuLieBORE.

But anyway....

What I am more interested in is why the question of asking someone's ethnic background is so embarrassing.  There's definitely fear and there's definitely embarrassment.  I don't look forward to doing it but just hide behind a bright and breezy asking that brings about compliance through a 'this-is-totally-normal-and-we're-all-fine-with-it-aren't-we?-I-mean-I-am-aren't-you?' attitude.

There's so much here to unpick.  Perhaps you are scared of seeming vaguely, somehow, racist.  Racism is such a central subject now that to even partly approach the question of race must mean that you judge people by the colour of their skin.  Of course, in this scenario, you are judging someone on the basis of their skin colour for the purposes of patient care and with a good end in mind so you know what option to choose in the little box rather than taking it as an opportunity to put someone to the bottom of the appointment list, refuse to shut the drafty window and not aid them in finding the toilet and cafe due to their ethnicity.

Maybe you're scared of appearing like some kind of government lackey who has abandoned all common sense and that the Daily Mail types will scoff at you.

Maybe you dislike living in a world where this kind of thing is even a concern.

Maybe you're scared that the people you ask will give you hassle for asking.  Fortunately, the height of aggro I have received so far has been 'I'm ENGLISH, not British' to which one laughs politely through gritted teeth, waves them off, checks on Wikipedia and in true esprit d'escalier/wage slave form, wishes you could yell after them' Yes, well, technically Madam, you're BOTH'.

Maybe..... Oh God, I don't know.  Maybe this is too big and varied a question, especially for a blog post.

I think, on the face of it, it's a desire to avoid hassle and being obliquely intrusive.

What do you think? Is asking ethnicity all that embarrassing? Is it embarrassing when someone asks you your ethnicity?