If we can't remember enjoyable evenings e.g. because of intoxication, does that make it less valuable? If I wake up happy but can't remember specifically why, does that matter, should it matter and in what way would this matter?
As I've gotten a little older, I've started to forget things. I can't really remember senior school. I have snapshot memories, I know the events that took place, I know I found it al reasonably unpleasant in a banal kind of way but I can't really remember it.
I worry about this. I worry that I will start to forget the good times I've had. I worry that I make this worse by getting slaughtered nearly every time I do. The first couple of hours are memorable, the second couple less so and goodness knows what happens at the end (although the last occasion left the clues of a well-broken wine glass, discarded cherry-flavoured cigarillos and a picture of my workmate wearing my most fun outdoor wear).
Generally this kind of night instils a warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that I Hung Out and that we Did Stuff.
It seems to be enough. I do it over and over. I sometimes have this niggling feeling that I'm missing out though. Time spent with my boyfriend generally ends when my body decides, rather than my mind chooses. This leads to a sub-question of control and choice as relates to value and enjoyment. Well, it's not a question, it's more a fact (yep, that's right, I'm pulling out the certainty - go on, challenge me) - we don't enjoy things we haven't chosen to do.
Perhaps it's a question of happiness vs. contentment. Getting trousered may make me happy in the short-term but doesn't lead to long-term contentment because it removes my higher goals of having lived a good life (which requires one to remember it to know it) by approaching the lower goals of having had a good week via the easiest method of getting trousered with some people I trust.
On the other hand, most of my memories are fuzzy, regardless of intoxicant use. Unless I'm doing something outstanding and therefore memorable, it all rather blends into the same kind of thing. So perhaps my concerns about getting hamstered are more to do with morality - I feel that I didn't do the best thing with my evening, I did something Bad. I let go of my rationality, risked my health, wasted my money. And to return to the start, risked my memories that I imagine will sustain me when I am an old, alone lady.
New tack: If memories aren't important, why do we put so many of them on Facebook? Or conversely, has Facebook risen to fill the void left by our refusal to abstain from getting totally bucketed despite memories being central to our social functioning? Is it just about social display; Look I Have Friends And We Do Stuff? Actually, it probably is more that because you can just keep your photos to yourself or email them between you. Never mind....
So which is it? Why is getting utterly spannered to the point of memory loss becoming a questionable activity? Value, nostalgia, choice, health, guilt, sin? Shaking off the 90s mandate of being Mad For It at all times? I can just about deal with the hangover and the financial imposition (only just). It's something else. Thoughts on a virtual post-card below, lovies.
TL;DR? Just about any noun in English can be used as a euphemism for getting very drunk as long as you put -ed on the end.
I can't really remeber much of secondary school. But if you had a lousy time would really want to remeber it? The Bullying, Not being picked first in P.E. Sure there were good times and you will remember them.
ReplyDeleteAnother really interesting read :D
Maybe mix these drunken nights with more daytime activities with pals. You'll remember them perfectly well and you won't feel guilt from getting sloshed out of your mind during those smaller hours.
ReplyDelete